The worst of it is behind you. Be decisive, be happy.

From an online tarot room.

1. Page of Wands: "Be Creative / Be Enthusiastic / Be Courageous / Be Confident"
2. King of Swords: "ntellectual / Analytical / Articulate / Just / Ethical"
3. Ace of Cups: "Emotional Force / Intuition / Intimacy / Love"

1. The World
2. Page of Swords
3. The Sun (Reversed)
4. Three of Swords (Reversed)
5. Three of Cups (Reversed)
6. Nine of Swords
7. The Tower
8. Seven of Pentacles (Reversed)
9. Ten of Swords
10. Ten of Pentacles (Reversed)

Emotional desolation. Our old friend, The Tower. Normally I don't bother noting which cards are reversed, but it felt necessary this time. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this.

A single card reading:

The chariot: will-power, determination, self-discipline. Victory; the "exultant joy" that I felt tonight?

1. Page of Swords
2. Nine of Pentacles
3. King of Pentacles
4. The Empress
5. Page of Pentacles
6. Four of Pentacles
7. The High Priestess
8. The World
9. Queen of Cups
10. The Emperor

Abundance. Abundance in frugality. Action & beginnings; Go forward. I have everything I need to be comfortable. Everything is already right here. Retreat inwards. Inner illumination & knowledge. Looking around to see what’s hidden from me. Femininity. No leaving things undone; Finish what you set out to do. Do what you say you’ll do. Do what you say you’ll do and you can have what you’re looking for. The worst thing is to leave things undone. Discipline. Alone. Abundance. Everything you need is here, look inwards. You can trust yourself to do what's right.

1. Seven of Wands (Am I overwhelmed? Fighting something?)
2. Nine of Pentacles
3. Four of Cups
4. Eight of Wands
5. Ace of Wands
6. Three of Pentacles (I never pull this card)
7. Six of Wands
8. Death (Let go of things.)
9. Ace of Swords
10. King of Swords

All of these cards are reversed, except for Ace of Wands & Death. Weird. Lots of Wands. Haven't seen the Death card in a long time.

Overwhelmed & struggling with self worth. Alone. Introspection? Introspection alone. Isolation. Accept outstretched hands. Am I accepting outstretched hands? Is there something there? Stagnation. Stagnation in introspection? Recognition from self & not others. Death card. Lack of clarity.

Alone & not in a good way. Alone but not in solitude. Too much contemplation, too much introspection? I’ll be alone for a while & then things will change. I’ll change deeply. Maybe I feel bad about being alone. Being alone doesn’t feel as good as it normally does? No clarity in my vision. Introspection without an answer. Inner strife.

I feel more confused than before.

1. The Star
2. Three of Swords
3. Queen of Pentacles
4. King of Wands
5. The Hermit
6. Ten of Wands
7. Ace of Pentacles
8. Knight of Swords
9. Five of Pentacles
10. Nine of Pentacles

I'm burnt out & in much more emotional anguish than I think I'm admitting to myself. I need renewal. I need spiritual renewal. I never pull the Hermit. I need to self reflect, to be introspective. Things aren't as bad as I make them out to be. Really, everything will probably be alright in the end. I think my goals should be less external. I think maybe I need to retreat inward. I'm going to spend my time treating myself more kindly & with more patience than normal. I'm going to spend less time focused on whatever arbitrary & external goal that I've set for myself. I used to be someone who hardly cared about things like that, but now I've gone too far in the other direction & I can't relax. I'm burnt out, but not in a good way. It's not like that poem where that moth burns himself alive in a fit of passion. I'm just slowly smoldering & it's becoming monotonous.