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"I want you to do this with me for one month. One month. Write 10 observations a week and by the end of four weeks, you will have an answer. Because when someone writes about the rustic gutter and the water pouring through it onto the muddy grass, the real pours into the room. And it’s thrilling. We’re all enlivened by it. We don’t have to find more than the rustic gutter and the muddy grass and the pouring cold water." Marie Howe


12/01/2024; Churchlight & suicidal in Walmart; Sore throat from singing & sore throat from crying.


11/29/2024; Bouquet of flowers & bouquet of stickers; flower stems on the counter.

11/26/2024; The smallest rainbow (on a clear day).

11/19/2024; White pigeon.

11/18/2024; Early morning rain on the bus window, indoor recess.

11/15/2024; Large-large moon rising; rainbow halo as it moved away from us.

11/14/2024; My old best friend's birthday.

11/13/2024; I could not breathe.

11/12/2024; The bus smelled like the inside of a dirty vacuum cleaner.

11/11/2024; Another deer this morning; deer, no deer, deer, deer.

11/10/2024; Chamomile bouquet.
Halo 'round the moon with Saturn.
Visible light in the church again.
A deer this morning, a deer last-last night.

11/07/2024; Headphones off.

11/06/2024; A sky that could not be captured in a photo.

11/05/2024; Vultures on a rooftop.

11/04/2024; A peregrine falcon by the school-buses; the shadow(s) of a flight of birds.


10/31/2024; Autumn wind & the emotion of telephone wires.

10/29/2024; One step away from being run over.

10/27/2024; Visible morning light through the church window, geometric light.

10/26/2024; Bells & incense; evening light in the church.

10/25/2024; The smell of raw meat in the grocery store.

10/22/2024; The flower bud is dead.

10/21/2024; Cannot tell if a flower bud is dead or alive in its vase.

10/20/2024; Visible light.

10/17/2024; The geometry of telephone wires on a cool day.

10/16/2024; Cold autumn night, telephone wires, the moon.
Moldy, dead bouquets. Murky water.

10/15/2024; Email from “an unworthy priest.”

10/08/2024; Prayers in threes last night.

10/07/2024; I can't remember anything from today. Bouquet still in its plastic, water evaporated out of the vase.

10/05/2024; Biggesthinnest crescent moon that I have ever seen. Red perigee.


09/30/2024; My depression & my shadow & my lamp.

09/25/2024; A cricket in my shirt this morning.
Autumn breeze.

09/23/2024; A ladder leading up to an empty patch of sky.
A lone firefly.

09/22/2024; Wilted lilies in the kitchen trash can.
A cloud looked like a flea, a parasite & then looked like a bird.

09/21/2024; Shadow of wires on my bedroom wall.

09/17/2024; Silhouettes of smiles and hands waving at me from the schoolbuses.

09/15/2024; A rainbow when I wanted to kill myself.

09/12/2024; The lilies are freckled and open.

09/10/2024; My white underwear are stained with blood.

09/09/2024; Pink lilies in a vase by a closed window.
Rainbow in a sprinkler.

09/08/2024; Pink lilies in a vase on my desk that are blooming.

09/07/2024; Pink lilies in a vase on my desk that have yet to bloom.

09/06/2024; Two raccoons ran in front of the car; unscathed.


08/29/2024; When I woke up this morning I found a dead roach in my bed.

08/27/2024; The sky & the breeze, already gone.

08/26/2024; There were raindrops on only one side of the bus.

08/26/2024; The AC was out this morning when I felt sick to my stomach.

08/24/2024; I saw a great, big owl.

08/23/2024; I watched a woman cut my father's hair. I felt an authentic & meditative love for the woman that I did not know.

08/23/2024; I felt better after school today.

08/15/2024; This week I learned to sleep on the bus.

08/10/2024; I saw a pair of geese in flight yesterday & a patch of sunflowers today that reminded me of my friend, (a different kind of bird). If you are reading this, I love you!

08/09/2024; I wrote a grocery list in my new journal.

08/08/2024; I bit the nail on my left pinkie so low while studying that it started bleeding.

08/07/2024; My dog likes laying on my bed when it has a pile of clean laundry on it.

08/06/2024; One of my comforters is blue & the other two are white. The blue one is always on the bottom.

08/05/2024; I drove on the highway for the first time & three people honked at me. I could have wrecked the car.

08/04/2024; There was a sudden rainstorm while I was driving. I saw pigeons huddle together under an overpass.


07/31/2024; There were little rainbows sprinkled across my room like confetti when I came home from school today. I've never seen so many.

07/30/2024; I saw found a purple paper crane. I saw a deer in the park at night.

07/22/2024; I saw five deer out the train window.

07/21/2024; The moon was pink last night. I played a game where I would stand in spots so the moon looked like it was perched on the telephone wires, like a pigeon.

07/20/2024; A green onion blooming in the garden: Scallionhope.

07/19/2024; There are five flowers blooming outside my window. The moon was so bright that I started seeing spots.

07/18/2024; There is one flower blooming outside my window.

07/16/2024; My bed hasn't been made for two weeks now.

07/15/2024; It was hot enough for me to feel my heartbeat.

07/14/2024; I woke up last night with a tight chest. I thought I saw something nondescript outside of my window, a floating spot.

07/10/2024; My computer screen & the lenses to my glasses are always dirty, smudged, normally imperceptibly (to me).

07/08/2024; I had an intense sense of déjà vu at school today. Then it felt like I had lived this day in a dream.

07/01/2024; Looked for deer out the train window & only found homeless camps.


06/25/2024; A burning feeling in the hands. A month is a long time & it’s not a long time at all.

06/19/2024; The telephone wires are different here, like Chūya's poem.


05/31/2024; The aching in my fingers feels deep, towards the bone, ebbing & flowing with my heartbeat.

05/30/2024; The rain was so soft that I thought the sound of it was wind.

05/30/2024; I held a washcloth over the bath & watched water drip from it. Some of the drips were steady and some were unsteady.

05/29/2024; A straw cast a shadow so dark & so clean over my hand that for a moment I thought it was drawn on with marker.