“Vashti is unlike anyone I've met! She is smart & is so knowledgeable on things that I haven't even begun to think about! She is curious, kind, friendly, & colorful; Both in mind & appearance! She loves and appreciates the small things in life & isn't afraid to try new things.” -How my friend would describe me to a stranger.

“starling vashti,”

“please dont forget, i pray for you, and i send my love and care to you more than you can imagine. please know i hold you close to my heart, and i am here if you need anything at all. i understand the fatigue and pain of life can wear us down until we are a small candle nub, barely burning. please know i see your difficulties, and i just hope and pray you are safe and getting stronger somewhere in your soul every day. don't push yourself too hard to write back, if you are unable, i am always going to understand. i made a collage for you, similar to the shrine you made for me... please take this preview as a token of strength and courage that i hope makes its way into you. it is still a work in progress, but i am working on it whenever i see something that inspires me in the recognition sense of you.

“take care, eat cherries and matcha for breakfast, drink coffee and green and jasmine tea, and don't give up. life is a struggle, but there is mercy in pockets of plain numb skin in between the bruised flesh. and one day, those bruises will fade.

“A woman who could bend to grief, / But would not bow to shame.”
From “Vashti” by Frances Ellen Watkins Harper

JSS Just Survive Somehow

This page is broken on purpose. I no longer feel the need to explain myself. My only goal is to exist in the open.

More than that — a hundred times more than that — I want to tell you, in clear, indelible words : I feel like one of the most important things I was put on earth to do is to love you & be there for you, & this includes the parts of you that think of hurting and killing yourself, as much as the parts of you that cherish rainbows and pigeons and books.

IT IS WHAT IT IS

Then he said: "Meditate for three days longer, then if you fail to attain enlightenment, you had better kill yourself." On the second day the pupil was enlightened.

“蔵焼けて 障るものなき 月見哉 (Since my house burned down I now own a better view of the rising moon)”

“How can we forget those ancient myths... The myths about the dragons who at the last moment turn into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses, only waiting for the day when they will see us handsome and brave? Perhaps everything terrifying is deep down a helpless thing that needs our help.”

“Writing down your thoughts is both necessary and harmful. It leads to eccentricity, narcissism, preserves what should be let go. On the other hand, these notes intensify the inner life, which, left unexpressed, slips through your fingers. If only I could find a better kind of journal, humbler, one that would preserve the same thoughts, the same flesh of life, which is worth saving. Moreover the writer invents himself [or herself] as a character in this form. He shapes himself from the shards of the everyday, from the truth of that daily life. Which is also a truth not to be scorned.”

今度は今度。今は今。

Let go or be dragged.

Do not doubt: Yes you can; Yes you can.

“Our little fearless Joan of Arc”

Please be here.

To Do